There are a number of different ways of working with couples and also with families. One form of couples therapy which has been shown to be effective for most couples is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Les Greenbert and Sue Johnson in 1988 published the first book on this treatment and there have been subsequent articles, books, and much research. This form of couples therapy focuses on developing a secure attachment bond in the couple by actively working to change the patterns of responses. If you have found that you have lost the “spark” in your relationship or that you have become engrained in patterns such blaming and withdrawing, this form of therapy offers you a lot of hope. John Gottman’s research on couples supports the need for intervening in these destructive interactional patterns. In my work with couples, I use what I have gleaned from both EFT and from Gottman’s research.